In the future we'll all be gay
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
