i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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