every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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