I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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