So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize