Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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