so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
