I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
