i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
