So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think my nap took me to another dimension
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
