It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
