I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
