omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
