i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
