just tell him i said nine months
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
