Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
All the doctor said was why
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
