Can i not drive my cunt home
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
