hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
