Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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