I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize