JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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