You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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