i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
