totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
