ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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