I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize