so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
