Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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