he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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