I am puke
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
