How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
