It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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