come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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