you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
