We won't sleep together?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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