well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
