I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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