I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
