fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
