grandma shit on top of the toilet
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
