i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
