he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
