remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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