ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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