after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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