well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
