hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
