Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
