How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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