I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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