Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
