You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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