I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
