East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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