New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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