Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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