i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
