Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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