You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
