the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
