If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
