just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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