youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize