how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
