If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
