There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
